Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Swing and Grab
The boys have made up a new game, called Swing and Grab. It involves, you will not be surprised to hear, swinging on the swing that is mounted in the doorway between our kitchen and dining room and grabbing something from a shelf.
There is a bookshelf in the hallway with a bunch of random things on it, stones we have collected, crafts we have made, loose change, game pieces that have separated themselves from their game, feathers we have found, lotion, buttons, receipts.
The game is this: swing forward and grab something from the shelf, then on the next swing forward, put it back into place. Then on the next swing forward, grab a different item. Do this as many times in succession as possible, without missing a swing, always grabbing a different item. The other child watches the "turn" and rates the performance, based on a complicated system that they have explained to me, but seems to be based on nothing but gut instinct. They have scorecards which they have made for each other, and it turns out that Max is a really tough grader, even on himself. When Otto gives him an A- for a swing, Max, says, "What?! I didn't even do 4 grabs! That isn't an A, it's more like a D."
I don't know exactly where they picked up the idea of grades, and of course, we don't use them at all, don't even agree with them in theory. But it's funny to see them apply their loose logic to the system. Basically, they have the right idea. Grades are often subjective and random and make little sense when held up to anyone's scrutiny. I am tempted to say that in an ideal Swing and Grab world, there would be no grades, it would all be about the fun. But clearly, the fun for this game also lies in the rating system. Or as Max wrote on the top of each report card: "Rading's." And I find it so telling that I love the excessive use of an apostrophe here, when it usually bugs me (my own schooled background comes into play). And I love that he switched the "T" for a "D" so that the word becomes something between a rate and a grade, looking more like "Rad."
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Cause for Celebration
I was just lying in bed, willing myself to fall back asleep, but at the same time succumbing to the usual rambling places my mind wants to take me in the early morning hours. Along with thoughts about calls that need to be made today, snow that needs to be shoveled, a chicken coop that needs to be cleaned, other, lovelier, but much less relevant ideas keep popping into my head. Like thinking about the date 11.11.11. It's still 10 months away, but I'd like to get a jump on my plans for it. Like, should we celebrate it by candlelight with a countdown to the exact moment of 11:11 p.m.? Will other people in the neighborhood celebrate with fireworks? Will anyone else even realize it's an event to celebrate, or will it fall by the wayside, like National Talk Like a Pirate Day or National Root Beer Float Day (two holidays I have marked on my calendar in previous years and had great thoughts about celebrating, but then discovered the following week that I had forgotten about them and my fantasies of serving icy floats in our special frosted mugs or donning our pirate costumes and running amok in the park). Will I even remember to celebrate it, or will it all be a bunch of early morning musings that never manifest?
Wouldn't it be cool to have a baby at exactly 11:11 pm on 11.11.11? Wouldn't be even cooler to be that baby? Especially if you could add more exciting details to the birth, like you were born in a cab which was stuck on a bridge (like my best friend from high school was)?
Do you think anyone is actually taking this date into account when conceiving a child? I heard there were people who were trying to have the first baby born at the first moment of the new millennium. I can't imagine this was the plan from conception, but I suppose it's possible. I had a friend who specifically did not want her child to be a Gemini (and she asked me to take no offense when she told me this, since I am a Gemini), because she doesn't really like people born under this sign. She and her partner specifically avoided conception in the times that would result in a Gemini birth. To me, this seemed like something that should be beyond our control or consideration. But I suppose I am not immune to such thoughts either.
My due date with Max was October 1, 2001, and I remember thinking that I liked that date, 10.01.01 because it was all 1s and 0s, some kind of binary code speaking to us. But I also thought it would be even better if he were born on 10.02.2001, because then his birthday is a palindrome. If that was the case, he would have been better named Otto. But I had no thoughts of the name Otto at the time. And anyway, Max decided to wait a while and even passed another binary option of 10.11.01, to actually emerge on 10.12.2001. On the day he was born, I don't think I gave any thought to the date at all, but instead was just so happy to feel my whole world shift as I looked into his new blue eyes. Which are now green.
Of course, I am aware that thinking about these things is a luxury. What a ridiculous idea, actually, to think we should even control this sort of thing? How lucky am I that I can lie in bed and worry about the fact that my kids aren't interested in this or that class, or that perhaps they spend too much time together and aren't learning how to cope with the rest of the world. What delightful problems to have, right? Whenever someone is sick or there is another situation that requires attention and focus, there is no time for these questions. We have to kick into survival mode. And I am always stressed and exhausted by these times, and even more appreciative of the more relaxed times that follow, or the small moments of light and joy that peek through, even in the middle of a stressful time.
My friend Andrew's brother David recently learned has a rare form of cancer, one that is difficult to treat, possible to live with for a while, but which will seriously reduce the quality and length of his life. They have been spending so much of their time in recent months trying to wrap their minds around the situation, to find possible treatments, to figure out how to survive this in the long term, and also, how to find more time to play the banjo. David has two young daughters, and of course, thoughts of what this means for them are prevalent in my mind. And thoughts of what it would be like to lose a sibling, especially one with whom you have such a great closeness, as I do with my own brother. Andrew and David are both such wonderfully weird people, and they have so much fun together. I have often thought of their relationship when I see the relationship between Max and Otto, the dynamic they have together. And in fact, when I fancied having a third child, I would think of their little sister Amy, who is a good bit younger than the two of them, but somehow always fell into their games, and is so very loved by both of them. I was sure that my third child would be a lot like Amy, whom I first met when she was young and wanted to be an astronaut, a career aspiration she now doesn't remember.
My friend Kevin suddenly collapsed at dinner in December, in a full-blown seizure that his friends thought must be a joke of some sort. He found out he has a brain tumor, and has since had it removed, biopsied (malignant) and spent much of his time trying to sort out what this all means. He has been doing a lot of thinking about living each day as if it might be the last, but he also offered this wonderful line from the poem The Maxim by Carl Dennis:
No shame in leaving behind some evidence
My due date with Max was October 1, 2001, and I remember thinking that I liked that date, 10.01.01 because it was all 1s and 0s, some kind of binary code speaking to us. But I also thought it would be even better if he were born on 10.02.2001, because then his birthday is a palindrome. If that was the case, he would have been better named Otto. But I had no thoughts of the name Otto at the time. And anyway, Max decided to wait a while and even passed another binary option of 10.11.01, to actually emerge on 10.12.2001. On the day he was born, I don't think I gave any thought to the date at all, but instead was just so happy to feel my whole world shift as I looked into his new blue eyes. Which are now green.
Of course, I am aware that thinking about these things is a luxury. What a ridiculous idea, actually, to think we should even control this sort of thing? How lucky am I that I can lie in bed and worry about the fact that my kids aren't interested in this or that class, or that perhaps they spend too much time together and aren't learning how to cope with the rest of the world. What delightful problems to have, right? Whenever someone is sick or there is another situation that requires attention and focus, there is no time for these questions. We have to kick into survival mode. And I am always stressed and exhausted by these times, and even more appreciative of the more relaxed times that follow, or the small moments of light and joy that peek through, even in the middle of a stressful time.
My friend Andrew's brother David recently learned has a rare form of cancer, one that is difficult to treat, possible to live with for a while, but which will seriously reduce the quality and length of his life. They have been spending so much of their time in recent months trying to wrap their minds around the situation, to find possible treatments, to figure out how to survive this in the long term, and also, how to find more time to play the banjo. David has two young daughters, and of course, thoughts of what this means for them are prevalent in my mind. And thoughts of what it would be like to lose a sibling, especially one with whom you have such a great closeness, as I do with my own brother. Andrew and David are both such wonderfully weird people, and they have so much fun together. I have often thought of their relationship when I see the relationship between Max and Otto, the dynamic they have together. And in fact, when I fancied having a third child, I would think of their little sister Amy, who is a good bit younger than the two of them, but somehow always fell into their games, and is so very loved by both of them. I was sure that my third child would be a lot like Amy, whom I first met when she was young and wanted to be an astronaut, a career aspiration she now doesn't remember.
My friend Kevin suddenly collapsed at dinner in December, in a full-blown seizure that his friends thought must be a joke of some sort. He found out he has a brain tumor, and has since had it removed, biopsied (malignant) and spent much of his time trying to sort out what this all means. He has been doing a lot of thinking about living each day as if it might be the last, but he also offered this wonderful line from the poem The Maxim by Carl Dennis:
No shame in leaving behind some evidence
You were hoping to live beyond the moment.
The boys and I were talking about longevity the other morning, how old is the oldest person alive, and what sorts of things do they eat and do to live so long. Otto said very matter of fact-ly that he would not live to be that old because he doesn't eat fruits or vegetables. I told him this was not necessarily true, that there were people who ate terribly, and smoked and did all sorts of "bad" things to their bodies, and lived very long lives. We also talked about the fact that you can do everything "right," eat all your vegetables and fruits, and exercise and and live a "healthy" lifestyle, and you still might walk out into the street and be hit by a bus. That there are no guarantees.
Although I would love him to eat fruits and vegetables, I also don't want him to feel pressured or worried about his long term health. That seems like such a big thing for a little boy to worry about. Perhaps the idea that they could be hit by a bus at any moment is too big of a worry too. But this seems like important information, somehow.
I recognize that Otto truly does not like fruits or vegetables at this point (no, not even grapes, not even any of the things you will suggest and be astounded that someone could not like), and I have confidence that at some point, he will like them. My cousin Christopher grew up on a diet primarily consisting of hot dogs, and he has grown up to be a pretty good chef and a vegan to boot. I really can't imagine Otto being a vegan. But I have no idea what the future holds.
In the meantime, I give Otto a multivitamin each morning, and I offer him opportunities to eat vegetables and fruit (without any pressure and without any expectation). They are almost always refused, but every once in a while, he will surprise me and try something. The result is almost always that he does not like it, but the fact that he will occasionally try a coconut or a beet chip or pumpkin bread is enough for me. And I remind myself that there is no need to panic (recently all of us have been quoting this sage advice from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "Don't panic."). Things change every day, and even if they don't, all my worrying about them doesn't really help. Of course, I still find myself awake at 4 am, worrying about this or that. But that's also why I let my mind wander to such silly thoughts as how to spend the evening of November 11, 2011.
I think it is okay, no, I think it is necessary, to get swept up in the little moments that bring us joy, even if that means many of our big "grown-up" things don't get accomplished. I am trying very hard to find the joy in each day, in all of its unpredictable imperfection, in my own imperfections too. I am also looking for things to celebrate. Big or small, we love any excuse to be festive. And so I will mark my calendar yet again with silly causes for celebration, such as National Backwards Day, coming up on January 29, the same day as Grandma's birthday, and next week the double header of Martin's birthday and Groundhog's Day. I'd better get planning.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Weekly Wrap Up
We've spent the last two weekends at IKEA, trying to figure out our new office plans and furniture (we are playing musical rooms down here, shuffling around everything as we slowly make our way upstairs to where we soon, hopefully, will sleep). IKEA is a fun shopping experience, and we all love their food, so in that sense, it was not a bad way to spend our Saturdays. But two weekends, back to back, and Sunday of each day spent working on projects...not a lot of family fun weekend time. And then much of the time in between also spent planning, emptying out the room, painting it, preparing it. So again, I felt like the kids were a bit neglected.
So we tried to have some fun in between the work days.
Monday we went bowling. Max wore his bowler hat to see if it would help. I'm not sure if it had an effect on the bowling itself, but he looked pretty cute. Otto rolled a spare for his last frame, so he got a bonus frame, when the rest of us were all done.
We went sledding on Wednesday, to a different hill than we normally visit. It was a really cold day, as proven by those bright red cheeks. But a very pretty afternoon, with a cloudy sky with the sun trying desperately to shine through.
On Thursday, the boys helped me paint the office.
On Friday, we went to the Museum of Science and Industry to see the Jim Henson Muppets exhibit. We went with our friend Truman, but unfortunately, Truman was not all that interested in the exhibit. My kids have always liked puppets and still watch Sesame Street on occasion. They perform their own puppet shows for us on a fairly regular basis. There were quite a lot of Henson's early doodles on display, and it was cool to get an inside peek into him, to see things beyond the Muppets. The boys were very interested in some of the more adult themed things they had on display, and we all loved the old commercials they showed from the 70s which featured various puppets. We watched a great short film by Jim Henson, called Time Piece. But we did rush through it a bit, knowing that Truman was waiting for us at the exit. It is always challenging to go to a museum with another family, especially if that family moves at a different pace than you do. I have to remember that, that we should do museums on our own and meet up with our friends for play dates that focus on actual play.
On Saturday night, we actually watched a movie which featured some Henson puppetry, although we didn't realize it until it was over. We watched the 2005 version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which featured puppets in many of the "alien" roles. We had watched the BBC series from the 80s right around Christmas, and the boys liked it so much, we all wanted to see another rendition. The movie was pretty funny, but the boys definitely preferred the BBC series, probably because this is the one they saw first.
And as usual, we played with the chickens. They're getting big. They could start laying in the next month (although since they were fall chicks, this will likely be delayed a bit). We got them all sorts of treats from Belmont Feed & Seed, including some scratch, some oyster shells, and some sunflower seeds, which we have been feeding them by hand. It's a treat for all of us that way.
So we tried to have some fun in between the work days.
Monday we went bowling. Max wore his bowler hat to see if it would help. I'm not sure if it had an effect on the bowling itself, but he looked pretty cute. Otto rolled a spare for his last frame, so he got a bonus frame, when the rest of us were all done.
We went sledding on Wednesday, to a different hill than we normally visit. It was a really cold day, as proven by those bright red cheeks. But a very pretty afternoon, with a cloudy sky with the sun trying desperately to shine through.
On Thursday, the boys helped me paint the office.
On Friday, we went to the Museum of Science and Industry to see the Jim Henson Muppets exhibit. We went with our friend Truman, but unfortunately, Truman was not all that interested in the exhibit. My kids have always liked puppets and still watch Sesame Street on occasion. They perform their own puppet shows for us on a fairly regular basis. There were quite a lot of Henson's early doodles on display, and it was cool to get an inside peek into him, to see things beyond the Muppets. The boys were very interested in some of the more adult themed things they had on display, and we all loved the old commercials they showed from the 70s which featured various puppets. We watched a great short film by Jim Henson, called Time Piece. But we did rush through it a bit, knowing that Truman was waiting for us at the exit. It is always challenging to go to a museum with another family, especially if that family moves at a different pace than you do. I have to remember that, that we should do museums on our own and meet up with our friends for play dates that focus on actual play.
On Saturday night, we actually watched a movie which featured some Henson puppetry, although we didn't realize it until it was over. We watched the 2005 version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which featured puppets in many of the "alien" roles. We had watched the BBC series from the 80s right around Christmas, and the boys liked it so much, we all wanted to see another rendition. The movie was pretty funny, but the boys definitely preferred the BBC series, probably because this is the one they saw first.
And as usual, we played with the chickens. They're getting big. They could start laying in the next month (although since they were fall chicks, this will likely be delayed a bit). We got them all sorts of treats from Belmont Feed & Seed, including some scratch, some oyster shells, and some sunflower seeds, which we have been feeding them by hand. It's a treat for all of us that way.
New Vocabulary Word
Max:
When I drink tea, I feel afternoony.
Rubber band instruments make me feel afternoony.
When I drink tea, I feel afternoony.
Rubber band instruments make me feel afternoony.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Building Hogwarts
We are not ready to let go of the holiday season yet, and although we could take down the tree today and send it off to the chipper (to become mulch for the city), we learned the mulch program is extended until January 17. Otto says he would like to wait until the last possible day to take it down. We need to spend some more time sitting in the darkness, admiring its glowing lights, so that we can all say we've had our fill of it by next weekend.
The boys' Hogwarts Castle arrived on Thursday, which had been on backorder (we had planned to give it to them on Christmas, but learned after ordering it that it was backordered until late January). We were pleasantly surprised that it arrived already, and the boys got to work immediately. I have always wanted to do a thorough documentation of them building a set, and I really would have liked to do a stop motion animation of it, something along the lines of this, but we are always a bit too eager to get it built and don't have the patience to do something like that when we are first building a set. Maybe when the boys are older.
But in the meantime, I thought I'd make a more fractured, chaotic documentation of the building, which spanned a long evening, an early morning, and then a cold afternoon. There is no consistency of framing, and it was not very carefully spaced out, but at least it captures the experience.
The boys' Hogwarts Castle arrived on Thursday, which had been on backorder (we had planned to give it to them on Christmas, but learned after ordering it that it was backordered until late January). We were pleasantly surprised that it arrived already, and the boys got to work immediately. I have always wanted to do a thorough documentation of them building a set, and I really would have liked to do a stop motion animation of it, something along the lines of this, but we are always a bit too eager to get it built and don't have the patience to do something like that when we are first building a set. Maybe when the boys are older.
But in the meantime, I thought I'd make a more fractured, chaotic documentation of the building, which spanned a long evening, an early morning, and then a cold afternoon. There is no consistency of framing, and it was not very carefully spaced out, but at least it captures the experience.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Minifigure Mayhem
We called our latest Lego animation Minifigure Mayhem, and it wasn't until Martin questioned this title, explaining that his understanding of mayhem was slaughter, or some bloody awful violent situation, that it occurred to me that this might not be the right title for this particular movie, which is more of a Minifigure Luau. I thought mayhem meant something more like chaos, but that it was sort of a funny assessment of a rowdy crowd, or perhaps, a toy-filled apartment with two costumed children running around with newspaper rolled swords. It turns out the official definition was more akin to Martin's understanding (leave it to the German speaker to know the definitions of English words better than the native English speaker). Here's the Merriam Webster definition:
I did find it defined for modern usage on WordIQ as: havoc and disorder (often with humorous overtones). This is how I meant it. But now that I know the true definition of mayhem, I have a completely different idea for a Lego movie. Maybe that one will manifest, and maybe it will not. But in the meantime, we present the latest in our Lego animation. It is only a "preview," according to Otto, since we had planned this animation to be a full-out, full-length Lego minifigure party, and we wanted to have each character limbo. But we ran out of steam. The boys still want to get back to the animation at some point, but since we cleared it off the table (the kitchen table is our usual movie making spot), I don't know if we'll manage to get back to the party.
The Lego Minifigures Series 3 officially come out tomorrow, but we were surprised to find that they were in the Legoland store when we stopped in on Sunday. Well, not entirely surprised, since my brother had found them at a random ToysRUs in Tennessee long before Christmas and had bought a few for each of the four boys. But when he looked for them again, he couldn't find them, and when we went directly to the Lego store, they said they weren't out until the 6th. So it was a pleasant surprise to find them there on January 2nd, and to also learn that even though these do not have the bar codes printed on the packages (and thus revealing the exact minifigure inside), they are fairly easy to feel, and by spending a (long) time going through the bins, feeling around for the accessories, we actually managed to get almost all of them. It was kind of a community event, since other people were doing the same, and people were mostly game to help each other find the specific figure.
There are actually raised bumps on the bottom of the packages in specific patterns (which reveal each unique figure), and we saw some people with the printed guide to the dots, but we found it was easier just to feel the packages. So as long as we are allowed to do this, we will continue to try out luck this way. It turns out it is even more fun than knowing exactly what is inside each package.
may·hem
noun \ˈmā-ˌhem, ˈmā-əm\1
a : willful and permanent deprivation of a bodily member resulting in the impairment of a person's fighting abilityb : willful and permanent crippling, mutilation, or disfigurement of any part of the body
2
: needless or willful damage or violence
I did find it defined for modern usage on WordIQ as: havoc and disorder (often with humorous overtones). This is how I meant it. But now that I know the true definition of mayhem, I have a completely different idea for a Lego movie. Maybe that one will manifest, and maybe it will not. But in the meantime, we present the latest in our Lego animation. It is only a "preview," according to Otto, since we had planned this animation to be a full-out, full-length Lego minifigure party, and we wanted to have each character limbo. But we ran out of steam. The boys still want to get back to the animation at some point, but since we cleared it off the table (the kitchen table is our usual movie making spot), I don't know if we'll manage to get back to the party.
The Lego Minifigures Series 3 officially come out tomorrow, but we were surprised to find that they were in the Legoland store when we stopped in on Sunday. Well, not entirely surprised, since my brother had found them at a random ToysRUs in Tennessee long before Christmas and had bought a few for each of the four boys. But when he looked for them again, he couldn't find them, and when we went directly to the Lego store, they said they weren't out until the 6th. So it was a pleasant surprise to find them there on January 2nd, and to also learn that even though these do not have the bar codes printed on the packages (and thus revealing the exact minifigure inside), they are fairly easy to feel, and by spending a (long) time going through the bins, feeling around for the accessories, we actually managed to get almost all of them. It was kind of a community event, since other people were doing the same, and people were mostly game to help each other find the specific figure.
There are actually raised bumps on the bottom of the packages in specific patterns (which reveal each unique figure), and we saw some people with the printed guide to the dots, but we found it was easier just to feel the packages. So as long as we are allowed to do this, we will continue to try out luck this way. It turns out it is even more fun than knowing exactly what is inside each package.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Happy New Year!
We had a nice New Year's Eve, spent with my friend Wendi and her friend Ron. We managed a full on dinner party, complete with appetizers (meatballs for my meat loving Otto, stuffed mushrooms, spiced nuts, olives), dinner (polenta gnocchi with roasted vegetables) and dessert. There was even a salad course, but we were all so full that we skipped it.
After our relatively late dinner, we played a game (a new one we just got after playing it with my family over Christmas: Wits and Wagers), and just before midnight, we made Crepes Suzette, complete with flames. The timing worked out pretty well, since we ended up with the fire show just a few minutes before midnight, then served the crepes, waited for the exact moment of midnight, and then popped the cork on the champagne (and poured it, obviously).
Otto came up with a solution for marking your glass as your own.
It was a low key evening, and the boys went to sleep shortly after midnight, which allowed me to get up and hang out for some adult time with our guests. Unfortunately, I fell asleep while putting the boys to bed, which seriously cut into the hang out time, but they stayed for a while longer, which was nice. According to Wendi, I was much more relaxed after my nap, which was probably a good thing (I'm sure some of that had to do with being done with the cooking/serving part and ready to just hang out). Maybe a nap in the middle of a party is just what everyone needs. Wendi was not feeling all that well, and she was lying on the couch, still willing to hang out with us, despite feeling badly. And by that point, Martin was also exhausted, and he was starting to fall asleep as we were all talking. So it was kind of a funny evening, with everyone doing what they needed to do but still wanting to be together.
Still, it was nice to have an actual dinner party, and reminded us that we need to do this more often. I suppose that's as much of a resolution as we might dare to make. That, and to be more present with each other, with everyone. We both love our iPhones and our computers and all the access to information and people we have at our fingertips, but sometimes it cuts into the time we have together as a family, and we all want to work on that, on being more together when we are together, of living more in the moment.
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